Make You Notice
by supernaturalsammy67
Summary: Stanford. I hope it's gonna make you notice, someone like me. Sad. One-shot. Sam just before and Dean just after.


**I'm posting this and it's short. Because in less than 5 hours I'll get my A level results and my whole future is...on a plate. Just there and all the work, I don't know...I know what I want but I can't see any way I'll get there...so this is a boost-cry-feel good-fic before the misery ensues.**

**To the song Use Somebody by the Kings of Leon, his voice is beautiful! But Laura Jansen's version is so sweet, it makes you kinda cry too. So I'm using this...**

**Here we go.**

**Summary: Stanford. I hope it's gonna make you notice, someone like me. **

**Warning: Teary?**

**Disclaimer: Please. Student- hello? I own nothing.**

**Here we go...**

_I've been roaming around_

_Always looking down at all I see_

_Painted faces fill the places I can't reach_

Sam's eyes closed, fear pulsing a tepid beat under his skin, making him feel sick, feel sad, feel a whole wave rise above him and stop, any moment just to crush him, crush his dreams.

He _needed_ this, he _wanted _this so bad, he couldn't see another option.

Everything. Every damn thing was riding on this...

He wouldn't be the hunter that pulled his family into this, he wouldn't be hell bent on vengeance his whole life, he wouldn't...he won't.

Either way Sam was leaving, that he'd decided months before the test was even set. He was getting away, running away if he had to.

And with his backpack now, the bus stop in view, he wasn't turning back now, even if one person was pulling his heart and his head and making every step a physical pain.

_You know that I could use somebody_

_You know that I could use somebody_

_Someone like you_

_And all you know_

_And how you speak_

_Countless lovers undercover of the street_

The envelope was crushed tight in his right hand, never opened even though he was the first of the queue for his scores, ignored the crying faces greeting him with questions, sad smiles that were the picture of pure happiness. They were free. They could get out of here, they weren't him.

And still he didn't open them. Ignored the girl who sat next to him all term and turn to him. "What did you get Sam?" That warm smile. Her family was proud, screaming from the phones clutched in nearly everyones hand.

He just walked.

_You know that I could use somebody_

_You know that I could use somebody_

_Someone like you_

He could feel the buzz of the florescent lights in the bus stop, black nothingness from here to...

To Cali.

Sam's eyes closed as he gasped. God.

If he could get away, to California, to freedom...he'd never have to hunt again, never have to squeeze in when he never fitted. He wasn't meant to hunt, he could feel that as he felt the frost coat the ground under hand-me-down sneakers.

And no one understood that.

No one noticed that, no one understood him.

Except...

_Off in the night_

_While you live it up I'm off to sleep_

_Waging wars to shape the poet and the beat_

_I hope it's gonna make you notice_

_I hope it's gonna make you notice_

A sting was beginning in his eyes and as Sam looked down to the pale letter, the envelope. Everything he needed. He daren't open it.

Sam swallowed, a lump of longing, of whispered 'Dean' in his voice he had to choke down. He just couldn't go back to that...it was so hard but he couldn't. How could they just expect-just rely-No.

So Sam swallowed, a tear stricken 'sorry' he never managed to get passed his lips before bubbled out and he ripped the paper, the noise sharp in the empty stop and he didn't have long till the bus.

Sam looked down.

Unfolded the paper.

Held his breath.

_Someone like me_

_Someone like me_

_Someone like me_

_Somebody_

If you asked Sam how he felt, there would not be a word right there, not even with his wide vocabulary at 18, he couldn't describe the feeling.

The floating ectasy of freedom, of peace that seemed to make him fly, and the sharp ache, the pain of loss, the dull thud his heart had taken to at the price of happiness.

Sam breathed out, white fog floating up and he half wished that was him dispersing into the night, not here between freedom and a cage, between longing for saudade and a brother he'd sworn to.

That hurt.

Sam had promised Dean, and here he was...

His back hit the glass panals as he leant his head back and stared at nothing and everything.

Why should he? Why? Just to make _them _happy? Just to carry on the stupid crusade?

Then again, who is he to take away their family? To say what he needs is best.

Who is he to take that away from Dean when all he ever did was give.

But you can't live if you long for something else, not with them...they'd never understand.

_Someone like you_

_Somebody_

_Someone like you_

_Somebody_

"You know, most people are happy when they ace the whole set."

The voice startled him, Sam's brain jerking and stalling like a learner in Drivers's ed.

"Most kids don't pack up everything and leave, most kids don't _stop _smiling, they don't cry at dead end bus stops"

Dean leant against the frame, a slow sad smirk on his lips and his mask firmly in place.

Dean sighed. Resigned. Like he knew and he knew he couldn't change it.

"Most kids aren't you, huh Sam?" Dean gave a small smile and it never reached his eyes.

Sam didn't speak, didn't dare, his throat was closed and his heart was beating so fast and he felt like everything had dropped, like the wave was crashing and he was in headlights.

He didn't need the freedom did he? He had Dean. He had him right here and that was the safety boat, even though the current was pulling him away.

You can't have both.

Dean nodded to himself, his hand wiped his face and stopped to rub his chin, his eyes closing much like Sam's and when he looked back.

Sam swore he saw Dean let him go.

"Ya' know, the school calls when you get a scholarship, when you were the highest grade they've ever seen, how proud they are..."

Sam watched with sad wide eyes.

"You'll need some cash if you wanna' get all the way to Cali Sammy,"

Dean paused, whether he was gonna grab Sam and haul his ass home or punch him in the face and push him away wasn't clear but Sam felt...

And when Dean's arms wrapped around him and he couldn't hold the tears anymore, he felt the wave just evaparate around him and everything _hurt, _everything _moved _and it all felt..._right._

_Someone like you_

_Somebody_

"De-"

Dean pulled back, a fatherly smirk on a worn face.

"I'm proud of you kiddo. You've done this all your own"

Sam sniffed. "Dad, he'll-"

"Don't worry about dad. I know if he knew about this...if he..." Dean paused. "If things were different, he'd be the one crying over the phone and bragging to everyone how his son got a full ride."

Sam managed a teary smile and Dean squeezed his shoulder, the fat package of money shoved into Sam's pocket.

_Well I'm ready, I'm ready_

_I'm ready, I'm ready_

_I'm ready_

The bus pulled in, Sam making his way flushed faced and clumsy footed to the back, as close to Dean as he could. Mouthed a thank you at the window as it peeled off and the red tail lights dissapeared down a black highway.

_I've been roaming around_

_Always looking down at all I see_

Dean's shoulder's sagged and he slid to the cold ground of the bus stop, feet and knees, even his hands shaking as he blinked where Sam was just stood, how far he'd be, how alone he'd be...how-

The first tear slipped and then it was no stopping the next, the judder to his back as he arched forward, opened his wallet to the missing picture of him an Sam at his soccer game a week before, bright blazing sunsets and two sets of smiles on the bleachers.

He hoped Sam would keep that close to him when he opened the money.

"You'll do good kiddo..." Dean whispered hoarsley.

It was the hardest thing he had to let go, but Sam needed this and someday, sometime their dad would see that too.

**:(**

**The end! Hope you enjoyed!**

**Sorry to my unfished stuff! As you can see I've had stuff to plan, but they're underway x**

**Cheers guys x**


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